New York offers a dazzling variety of choices for dining out, from fast food to exotic ethnic cuisines. But if you’re looking for something that’s off the beaten path — literally! — you’ll want to check out some of these truly unique specialty restaurants.
The Frigid Bitch, located in the Vinegar Hill section of Brooklyn, is a bit of a hike, but well worth the trip. Frigid Bitch takes the current trend of high-quality, small batch frozen desserts in unexpected flavors, and elevates it to a whole new level.
Dairy chemist Shandra Malouffe starts with creamy, silky smooth full-fat cream and organic sheep’s milk for her super-indulgent ice cream base. To this she adds the perfect balance of raw cane sugar and free range vegetarian duck eggs, which give the ice cream an added richness and unparalleled smoothness, along with an indefinable quality we can only describe as “duckiness.”
The base is the same for all the ice creams at Frigid Bitch. It’s what happens next that makes them truly unique. Shandra and her team offer a tantalizing assortment of off-the-chart flavors like “turnip espresso,” “caviar, papaya and leek,” “turtle crème,” and their signature flavor: “smoky prawn and rosewater.”
The complex, briny, smoke-infused intensity of the prawns, with the unexpected light floral sweetness of the rosewater come together with the tang of the sheep’s milk and that trademark Frigid Bitch duckiness to create a taste sensation you won’t soon forget — if ever.
Shandra explains:
“I like to push the boundaries of what’s considered ‘normal’ in ice cream. I ask myself, what haven’t I tried before? What hasn't anybody ever tried before? What would it literally never even occur to anyone to even think of trying in an ice cream. And then I try it.”
Of course, if you’re lactose intolerant, Frigid Bitch also offers a variety of dairy-free and vegan soy cream, with flavors like “black sesame and shitake,” “caper and onion,” “yam, fig and olive” and my personal favorite, “accordion solo,” which is pretty much indescribable except to say that after about the third spoonful, it really does start to taste exactly like Tico Tico.
For those in search of lighter fare, Pang, in the Morningside Heights section of Manhattan, is the destination of choice. At the artful and eclectic Pang (brainchild of famed gastrocateur Julian Mo), they recommend you bring your imagination and your sense of whimsy — but check your appetite at the door!
That’s because every dish on Pang’s extensive menu is a thing of beauty and a joy forever — literally! If you’ve ever heard the expression “too pretty to eat,” they were probably talking about Pang, where the glistening, upscale, highly photogenic and completely inedible entries have been featured everywhere, from the covers of high-end foodie magazines to the pages of Instagram and Pinterest. Their signature dish — bright pink yellowfin tuna steak, with golden caviar and a dazzling, bright green fava bean pesto, is a feast for the eyes ... and nothing else. Like everything on the menu, it’s a gorgeous symphony of color and texture. Just don’t try putting it in your mouth. Here at Pang, every item is perfectly composed, seductively lit, and painstakingly designed for optimal presentation on Facebook. There’s even a special appetizer plate that actually looks as if it was shot in Lomo. The chefs at Pang are true artists — or rather, the “artists” at Pang are true artists, because frankly “chefs” in the traditional sense are pretty much irrelevant to the process.
If even the visual representation of food is a little too much for you to handle, try one of Pang’s trademark “poppers.” These tiny glass capsules are snapped open under the nose, providing the imbiber with an uncanny bouquet of floral and vegetal essences, combined with the aromas of sizzling steaks, bright tropical fruits, or dense chocolate. All with just the subtlest whiff of amyl nitrate to heighten your dining experience.
If you’re an adventurous gastrophile with an eye for the truly unique, we highly recommend you run — don’t walk! — to this amazing and utterly original gem of a restaurant. Just remember to eat before you leave the house.
Never have the twin indulgences of sex and chocolate been so brilliantly melded as in the underground atmosphere of Lagniappe, on Doyers Street in Chinatown. That’s right, we said “underground,” and we meant it. Literally! To discourage casual street trade, this dimly lit and vaguely unsettling jewel of a patisserie is hidden away in the basement of a barber shop sandwiched between a used furniture store and an abandoned fabric wholesaler. But if you’re brave enough to make the trip down those crumbling and badly-lit stairs, you’re in for one of the most unique confectionary experiences of your life.
“Lagniappe” refers to the old New Orleans custom of “a little something extra” added to a customer’s purchase, and as practiced by proprietors Chuck and Daisy Marchand, it takes on a whole new significance.
Take for example their chocolate cognac truffle. You’ve had truffles before, but we guarantee you’ve never had one quite like this. These perfect morsels are made with Scharffen Berger extra dark chocolate, which is 82% cacao; top-quality Madagascar vanilla and real Jenssen’s Arcana cognac. But if that wasn’t enough, each exquisite mouthful is hand-shaped and rolled precisely 32 times between the supple breasts of a 15-year-old French prostitute. Chuck and Daisy actually contract with a string of top-flight Parisian brothels, who keep these underage lovelies at work in shifts seven days a week. And still, they can barely keep up with the demand — especially around the holidays! So order early.
Looking for something a little more daring? Then the Religieuse at Lagniappe is bound to please. Each of these heavenly choux pastries is filled with your choice of mocha or hazelnut crème patisserie, and served with an insouciant — but masterful! — over-the-knee, bare-bottom spanking.
But for the truly courageous, we recommend the Spécialité de la Maison: Lagniappe’s crowning achievement, the Black Mamba. Chocolate, rum, burnt sugar and black cherry coulis are aerated in a Co2 charger until they’re basically just a chocolate-and-sugar-infused froth. The froth is then injected into a veterinary-grade gelatin capsule and inserted into the anus by the nimble fingers of some of Belgium's most highly-skilled and publicly disgraced chocolatiers.
(Please telephone at least 24 hours in advance to special order.)
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