Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Astrology for Real Life

Aquarius (January 20-February 18)
As a water sign, you more than most can appreciate the sinful pleasure of a good, ten-minute shower in the mornings.  Why not take one today to really rev up your engines?  You’ll need it to face down that morning commute.  While you’re at it, why not put on some fresh, clean work clothes and a dab of cologne?  Nothing brightens up a day at the office like feeling really well-groomed.

If you can find a lull in the work day, try to balance your checkbook and pay any bills that may be due.  You’ll be glad you did.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)
You are well-known for your imaginative, creative side, but rarely find an outlet for it in your day-to-day life.  This trend is likely to continue, but a steady paycheck and decent benefits will seem a better and better tradeoff as you mature.  Why not take in a movie to brighten things up a bit?  Toward week’s end, a few sniffles may lead you to think you’re coming down with a summer cold, but in all likelihood it’s just a harmless allergy.

Aries (March 21-April 19)
Today would be a good day to go out and get some fresh air and sunshine during your lunch break from work.  On the other hand, it might rain, so be sure to bring along an umbrella “just in case.”  The small, collapsible kind you can carry in your bag will probably be your best bet. 

If you have some down time this afternoon, you may want to try updating your blog.


Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Been feeling a little overwhelmed lately?  Maybe you haven’t been taking enough time to cater to your own needs.  This evening, why not indulge yourself on the subway ride home with some music on your iPod, or a few chapters from that new book you’ve been reading?  But remember to limit your self-pampering to harmless, healthy treats.  That ice cream may look like the answer to all of life’s problems right now, but you’ll only regret it in the morning!

Gemini (May 21-June 20)
This morning, why not spend some quality time with those strangers in your bed, say over a glass of fresh-squeezed orange juice and a crossword puzzle?  Instead of just turning them out into the street and tossing their leather goods after them, like always, shake things up a little!  Take the time to get to know them.  Or at least to differentiate them from one another.  Ask where they got that amazing super-sized rotating apparatus, or what they use to prevent chafing from the latex, or if they can breathe okay in that mask.  It may take time, but with Mercury in retrograde it’s good to do all you can to keep the lines of communication open.  And you never know — that guy in the scuba gear and nipple clamps may actually turn out to be a useful business contact! 

Cancer (June 21-July 22)
A special someone may be on your mind today.  If it’s somebody you know well, why not give him or her a call and make some weekend plans?  If it’s just a harmless daydream, try to enjoy it without getting too carried away. 

Leo (July 23-August 22)
If there’s something you’ve been putting off, now’s the time to get down to it.  It may be making a dental appointment, getting a haircut, checking your email or any one of a thousand little things.  Stop procrastinating and get it done!  You’ll feel better once you have.

At lunchtime, why not skip the pizza or greasy burger and take a brisk walk around the block?  It will help clear your head and do wonders for your waistline.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)
The subway will probably be very crowded for your commute today, so don’t plan on getting a seat unless you get on very close to the beginning of the line.  Your luck will change later in the evening, when you’ll be pleasantly surprised that there is actually a relatively enjoyable program on TV after all.  You will look forward to the weekend, but mostly just on principle, and not for any particular planned event.

Libra (September 23-October 22)
Today might be a good day to get up an hour early and toss in a load of warm-water wash.  The laundry room is usually deserted first thing on weekday mornings, so you won’t have to wait for a machine, and you can use the time between cycles to shower, dress, and run a dust cloth around the living room.  You’ll be killing two birds with one stone! 

Later, a friend or family member may call to ask about your weekend. 

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
There may be some talk around the office about a co-workers cock-up, but don’t worry — it probably won’t involve you in any significant way.  On the way home, why not stop at the grocery store and pick up any items you may have noticed you were running low on? 

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
Yours may well be the “luckiest” sign in the horoscope, Lucky Sagittarius!  But you can’t always depend on that luck, so even though the dry cleaner had your shirts ready early last time, that probably won’t happen again this week.  Don’t waste time stopping by there on the “off chance” — just wait until tomorrow and save yourself the aggravation.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
You may oversleep this morning, but by no more than ten minutes, so it won’t make you late for work or anything.  Your health will be best served if you opt for a lighter, more nutritious breakfast: a bran muffin and some fruit over that eggs Benedict, perhaps.  Things will be hectic at the office, but not so much that you can’t handle it, and it may even make the time go faster. 

No comments:

Post a Comment