Slice of Life

So anyway, I says to her, I says Mabel, I says, if you — what the !?!?  Oh my God. 

Rose.  Rose, you’re not gonna believe what happened.  My uterus just fell out! 

Whaddya mean, am I serious?  Why would I make up a thing like that?  Of course I’m serious.  This is mortifying!  My entire uterus just fell out in the middle of Eighteenth Avenue.  Right in front of the pork store. 

No, the other one.  Spicoli’s, by Bay 22nd.

Really?  Oh, I don’t care for them at all.  I got the mortadella there that one time, it was very gamey to me. 

I think we’re straying a little from the subject, Rose.  I mean, what am I supposed to do now?  Well, I mean, do I pick it up?  Do I leave it there, what? 

I don’t know, this never happened to me before!  I only had the one, this is the first time it ever fell out. 

Oh, Rose.  Really?  What if a dog finds it?  Well, what good is that gonna do, cover it with a newspaper?  Dogs have a very keen sense of smell, Rose.  They’re dogs.  Besides, where would I get a newspaper? 

No, I don’t have one with me.  I have the Readers’ Digest, but I’m not finished with it yet. 

No.  Because it just doesn’t seem right to me, that’s why! 

It came out of my body, Rose!  Besides, what if someone slipped on it?  They could break their neck, you think I want to get sued? 

How?  From the DNA, of course.  Jesus, Mary and Joseph, where have you been?  Don’t you ever watch Law & Order?

Well.  That’s a good point.  I mean, it’s not like I’m exactly using it these days.  Still.  It just seems like a shame.  Fifty-six years, Rose.  To just walk away like that?

Sigh.

Eh, who’s to know? 

I’ll tell you one thing, though, this skirt is going to the dry cleaners.